Parents. They spend the majority of their lives taking care of us: zipping our coats up tight in the winter, putting food on the table, and sometimes teaching us a thing or two about life. But what happens when the roles are reversed — when the time comes to prepare aging senior parents for when they need our assistance more than we need theirs? Navigating through senior care doesn’t have to be stressful. Here are four key issues you should address with your parents in order to best prepare for the future...
Insurance Coverage
One of the first issues you should address is health insurance coverage. As we age, our health typically becomes less predictable and more problematic. A minor fall can equal a huge financial setback without the proper medical arrangements or coverage in place. Don’t know what coverage your parents have? Wendy Kerschner of Comfort Keepers suggests easing into the topic. “The conversation won’t happen over Sunday brunch,” Kerschner says. Instead, steer yourself into the conversation in an indirect, soft manner, using short interjections over time in order to bring the topic at hand to the surface. But never wait until a crisis emerges to discuss medical coverage. Kerschner adds, “When you’re in a crisis, you already have high emotions,” and you want to avoid adding more pressure to an already stressful situation. Perhaps say to your parents during a casual evening, “Hey, I can’t believe *insert name here’s* insurance didn’t cover her recent fall. Isn’t that ridiculous? Would your insurance cover injuries of that sort?” In doing so, you will garner a better understanding of your parents’ medical coverage without causing tension.
Future Living Arrangements
Where will your parents live as they begin to need more assistance? Is a family member willing to drop in often to provide needed care? These are a few of the questions that begin to arise as elderly parents become less able to fulfill their own daily needs. If your lifestyle does not allow you the time to take on these daily tasks, start to investigate potential live-in nursing homes or at-home caregiving. Kerschner suggests asking your circle of influence about the best services or homes. “Most of our business is generated through referrals,” she states, “and a simple Facebook post asking friends and family for advice will result in many people chiming in.”
Preparation of a Will
Do your parents have a will? If you’re not sure, try to bring up the issue the next time your family has a get-together. Wills provide an imperative legal method for the distribution of goods and possessions after a loved one passes. Without a will, there is a lack of clarification as to what goes to whom. Such confusions can lead to arguments, conflict and turmoil for relatives who are unsure of how to divide the deceased’s belongings.
End-of-Life Wishes and Goals
Kerschner’s last piece of advice: “prepare for the unexpected.” In certain cases, medical scenarios such as dementia — or even a coma — may leave parents in a state in which they are unable to adequately tell you what they would want in a given scenario. Know your parents’ wants ahead of time. It’s important to note that what we may believe is in someone’s best interest may not always be what he or she desires. Have a heart-to-heart with your parents and really take the initiative to understand what they want out of life in their older years. Doing so allows them the comfort of knowing life will go according to their own plans.
