Fred Maurer Photography
"You, my beautiful girl, are a shining star. Made of twinkle and bright, full of promise and beauty from the inside to the out. You are light and love from your head to your heart, down to those sweet little toes. You are a wonder and a whole universe of possibility." — lunch note, mother to fifth grade daughter
How do we raise confident, strong, self-loving, kind girls who believe beauty on the inside counts more than that on the outside?
As a mother, raising girls to have a positive sense of self can be a treacherous landscape. Advertisements, media and celebrities smash us with overly sexual and unrealistic images of girls and women. Society puts a huge emphasis on looks.
Just the Way You Are
Tami Koumaras found herself living a mother’s worst nightmare. Several years ago, her then teenage daughter Julianna was struggling with an eating disorder.
“My first thought was, ‘What did I do wrong?’” says Koumaras. “I love her more than myself, and I thought she knew that! But my second thought was, ‘What do I need to help her and what is the best place possible [to do that]?’”
Koumaras discovered a treatment center in Philadelphia. It started a healing process for the whole family. When Julianna returned home from treatment, Koumaras noticed the unique way she was using her newfound strategies and self-esteem builders. “She started writing affirmations on stickies, and all over her bathroom mirror, in her room, everywhere,” she says.
So Koumaras started researching the science behind the repetition of positive thoughts.
“If you say it, again and again, ‘I am perfect as I am,’ it will start to build your self-esteem and change you.”
After talking with some close friends about her daughter’s situation, the idea was born to start an apparel company exposing girls to these positive aspirations every day. Perfect as U Are was started by Tami and three other mothers dedicated to supporting an image of girls and women that is both healthy and realistic. Their first products were a sports bra and headbands that featured affirmations like “Believe in yourself” and “You are beautiful.”
Perfect as U Are recently added an “I am” line boasting declarations like: “I am confident; I am fearless; I am beautiful” on socks, T-shirts and shorts. The socks are manufactured in nearby Denver.
The company’s mission statement is clear, helping girls “boost their confidence and embrace their beauty through continuous affirmation of their undeniable and immeasurable value.” Koumaras credits her daughter Julianna for helping teach her this.
Julianna continues to try to help empower girls to affirm their inner beauty. She began a group at Westchester University called Bodypeace, which promotes and teaches positive body image and self-esteem to fellow students.
“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who has a genuine smile and a self-confidence that radiates from within,” Koumaras says.
Earlier this year, the company started supplying socks and head wraps to cancer patients undergoing treatment at Hershey Medical Center. The inspiration came from the touching story of Delaney Brown, the elementary student in West Reading who lost her battle with cancer last year, passing away on Christmas Day.
The company is looking to expand its product line and retail reach, so they recently launched a Kickstarter campaign. Products and information about the Kickstarter campaign are available at perfectasuare.com. Several local shops are also carrying items, including Shear Style on Penn Avenue in West Reading and Trosclair’s Salon in Wyomissing. Next year, Perfect as U Are hopes to launch a line of products for boys.
Learning to Take it On the Run
Kim Rivera discovered the positive impact of fitness and exercise in her life through running. Later she was intrigued by the idea that it was a powerful parallel to life and a way to help young girls.
“I thought, ‘How cool it would be to use the discipline of running as a tool to teach girls about self-esteem…the power of setting a goal and working toward achieving it?’”
A friend in Arizona told Rivera about a national nonprofit program called Girls on The Run, a running club aimed at inspiring girls to be “joyful, healthy and confident using a fun, experience-based curriculum.” So Rivera set out to establish a chapter in Berks County.
Girls on The Run works with third through fifth graders, encouraging them to activate their “limitless potential” and “boldly pursue” their dreams. Girls on Track works specifically with sixth through eighth graders.
“The curriculum takes a holistic approach to the development of young girls,” Rivera explains. “It’s not just physical development, but also social, emotional, mental and spiritual.”
In January 2012, with Rivera as executive director and a board comprised of community volunteers, the Girls on The Run of Berks County was founded. The program started in three school districts, including Wilson, Governor Mifflin and Reading.
As mom to a fifth grade girl, Rivera felt strongly about sharing the GOTR experience with young girls in her community. “I already knew the tremendous importance and value of the Girls on the Run program from my own experiences growing up and from some issues with which I still struggle today,” she says.
After deciding to leave her position at Reading Area Community College last spring to fully pursue the duties of executive director, Rivera realized she was taking a page from the GOTR manual.
“We teach girls that when you believe in something and you have a dream and you’ve thought it through, take that leap of faith and make it happen.”
In its first semester, the Berks County chapter saw 60 girls from four schools participate in the program. It’s on track to double that enrollment this spring, with 10 schools in seven different districts participating. Volunteer coaches help guide the girls through the 12-week program.
Beth Carl’s fourth grader Renee, a student at Mifflin Park Elementary, participated in Girls on the Run last fall. Renee’s teacher was also a volunteer coach for the program. Carl was thrilled with the experience her daughter gained. As a teacher, she sees girls who struggle with low self-esteem daily. “The girls had lessons and activities to help [teach] them to love themselves and realize that it is okay to be who they are. I loved that,” she explains. “Girls need to understand that each one of them is different, special and unique.”
Carl also thought it was important for the girls to gain peer support. “Girls need an opportunity to be around other girls and learn how to make each other feel important and loved,” she says. And watching her daughter work towards and achieve a goal was invaluable.
Rivera said individuals and businesses in the community have shown tremendous support for the organization’s efforts. Both Reading Health System and the Junior League of Reading are sponsors and supporters of Girls on The Run of Berks County. And St. Joseph’s Regional Health Network has provided CPR and First Aid training to coaches.
At the end of the 12-week program, girls run in a 5k race. In December of last year, they ran West Reading’s “Run Santa Run” 5k, despite the day’s frigid temps and the threat of a snow storm. “When 52 of 60 girls showed up and every single one of them crossed that finish line, that is validating,” Rivera asserts.
The focus is now on more fundraising as the program grows. GOTR charges $150 per girl enrolled to cover basic fees, race registrations, insurances, and such, but the organization also awards scholarships to any girl in need wanting to join. “No one is turned away if they don’t have the money. So money raised goes to providing scholarships,” Rivera says.
Perfect as U Are and Girls on The Run have recently partnered to further their work in empowering and encouraging young girls.
After all, “Knowledge is power!” Koumaras says.
For more info on Girls on The Run, visit gotrberks.org.
