Were there a vitamin that parents could give to their children that ensured success in school, it would fly off the shelves. More than ever, successful completion of high school, with vocational training or college to follow, are essential for successful adult independence. Poor grades often indicate weak motivation or learning issues that justifiably concern college admission offices and future employers.
School success starts at home, starting with reading aloud to infants, toddlers and children, a practice directly linked to success in school and in life in any number of research studies. Children should see their parents doing leisure reading. Families routinely sitting and eating dinner together and talking about what’s happening in their lives set the stage for success. When you don’t just ask “How was school?” but rather, “What did you learn in science today?” and really listen to the answer, you teach your child that her schooling matters to you, which will incline her to make it matter to her.
A recent study on helicopter parents demonstrates that intervening in day-in and day-out classroom doings simply doesn’t yield positive results. Parents who call teachers to protest a pop quiz, or to question a grade or to “explain” a situation don’t produce success for their child. In fact, they are unintentionally likely to create passivity and resentment (“learned helplessness”) in the child. Helping your child from home helps your child; diddling with the dials at school does not. Attending all school-scheduled teacher conferences, parent events, creating quiet time and space for homework and reading, demonstrating steady interest in your child’s school day are contributions parents can make that lead to a positive difference over time.
If your child forgets his lunch or lunch money at home, don’t run it to him at school. He won’t forget it again after either being a bit hungry or having to beg for leftovers from friends. When your child complains that his teacher was “mean” to him at school, don’t take the bait. Respond with, “What did you do to make Ms. Smith angry with you?”
Of course there are the instances when a parent needs to get involved: persistent peer bullying, poor progress, a sudden drop in grades, negative feelings about school. These are indications of potentially serious problems, and parents are well within their rights to request a prompt teacher conference to move towards a solution. Finding a well-qualified tutor outside of school is often a lifesaver when a child is struggling in a class.
Seek experiences that will extend a child’s frame of reference and develop his independence. Summer camps, starting with day camps, are important opportunities for learning and independence in a fun and social setting. Lessons in whatever interests your child, as well as out-of-school sports are also opportunities for learning.
Video games, iPads and cell phones, and TV are the junk food of a child’s intellectual nutrition: restrict intake!
For more on Informed Education Solutions, based in Sinking Spring, visit myiesolutions.com.
