Best friends are like a Swiss Army knife, serving as planner, therapist, comedian, fashion consultant, chef, chauffeur and much more. But the most important role is faithful companion. Here are two longtime relationships that prove love, honesty and respect can overcome disasters, disagreements and distances.
Karen Angstadt + Kent Bollman
Close to 50 Years of Closeness
The connection between Karen Angstadt and Kent “Kenny” Bollman is approaching the half-century mark.
But their neighborliness took some time to develop after Angstadt became Bollman’s neighbor in the mid-’70s.
“I moved into his former best friend’s house in Lincoln Park,” Angstadt says.
In those days the neighborhood was homogeneous, according to Bollman, with everybody knowing everybody. The Angstadts, however, were birds of a different feather.
“We come from a very reserved family,” says Bollman, grandson of Bollman Hat Company’s founding family. “Karen’s family has a loud and boisterous way of communicating, which I was not accustomed to, but it was intriguing. So, I started spending a lot of time over there.”
Pretty soon, their homes were interchangeable.
“Kenny was like a part of my family,” says Angstadt, who now lives in Birdsboro. “When we lived next to each other, he walked in without knocking. He was just like another kid that my parents had.”
I hope we’re old and gray and sitting at Brewer’s watching the Eagles till the day we die.
Many of their favorite memories originated during this period, like attending the prom together in 11th grade, having a blast at Bollman’s infamous prom party in 12th grade, attending Senior Week together and choreographing a dance to Lipps Inc.’s Funkytown in Angstadt’s living room.
“We’re similar because we’re both strong-willed,” Angstadt says. “We both have a good sense of humor. Kenny is more ambitious than me, though.”
Soon after the turn of the millennium, Bollman quit his corporate job at the Gap to attend acting school in New York City, where he landed a role in a national tour of The Music Man. He also spent many years in Philadelphia, singing with the Philadelphia Gay Men’s Chorus and the concert opera theater at the Academy of Vocal Arts. He also sang in Angstadt’s wedding.
No matter how much time elapsed between interactions, they immediately slid back into things when they reconnected.
“A year would go by sometimes, but when you see each other, it throws back the hands of time,” Bollman says. “And that’s the beautiful thing. The constant changes in life we both went through — marriage and divorce — clearly that changes a relationship. But it made it stronger because there are very few people in my life who know everything about me. And Karen’s one of them.”
Following his gap years, Bollman returned to the Gap and Berks County. He still maintains a condo in Philadelphia along with a townhouse in Wyomissing.
With Bollman back in the area, the pair meet at Brewer’s Bar & Grill in West Reading to watch the Philadelphia Eagles play every week during football season. They also like to socialize with classmates at PJ Whelihan’s Pub & Restaurant in West Lawn.
“We’re both super social,” Bollman says. “We like to hang out and do things with friends all the time. With us, the real deal is the real deal — what you see is what you get. There’s nothing hidden about us.”
Asked to describe the other in five words, Angstadt chose proper, handsome, funny, intelligent and ambitious.Bollman called Angstadt outgoing, honest, a connector, persistent and wicked – “in a good way, as in the Boston wicked.”
As for what the future holds, Angstadt somewhat jokingly says she hopes Bollman lets her move in with him to save money. Bollman wants to continue their tradition of watching the Eagles win Super Bowls.
“I hope we’re old and gray and sitting at Brewer’s watching the Eagles till the day we die,” he says. “She’s just an awesome cat. And she’s a cat person, too, so no pun intended. She’s super loyal. If you’re fortunate enough to be friends with her, she will stand up for you, stand in front of you and block for you. And she won’t let anybody mess with you.”
Melissa Hassler + Dena Folk
Finding Each Other Through Loss
Don’t sleep on the decades-long bond between Melissa Hassler and Dena Folk. They often don’t.
“We contact each other every day. We text in the middle of the night sometimes,” says Hassler of Cumru Township. “We both have issues with insomnia, so it’s not odd for me to wake up to see if Dena is awake and I have a text from 4 in the morning from her.”
Hassler calls the pair opposites, with their differences balancing and bolstering the relationship: Folk reaches for the stars while Hassler keeps things grounded. Folk is a dreamer; Hassler is a planner.
But the beating heart of the relationship, which helped each of them overcome unfathomable loss, is love and honesty.
“That’s what everyone wants in a relationship,” says Folk of Muhlenberg Township. “That care factor.”
Their friendship formed in middle school in the mid-’90s after Hassler’s family moved into the Muhlenberg School District from Tunkhannock, Pa. Soon thereafter, Hassler’s mother died by suicide.
“We were both very young, so neither one of us really had the mental capacity to deal with it,” Hassler remembers. “But she dealt with it the way that she felt she could, which was by sharing her family with me.”
Nothing will ever separate us.Weare sisters for life."
Hassler and two of her siblings decided to go into foster care. During the six-month search for an official foster home, they lived with Folk’s family, who made sure they felt included and loved.
That cemented a bond that was broken only for a brief period soon after the turn of the millennium when the pair drifted apart. Then one day, Folk texted “Hey,” and everything fell back into place.
A few years later, Folk’s brother lost his battle with depression, after which Hassler jumped into action.
“I just made sure I was there for her as much as I could be, and I made sure I didn’t tell her that it was going to be okay,” she says. “I made sure I didn’t tell her he’s selfish or he didn’t think of anybody else. I just tried to encourage her feelings and not negate them or try to convince her that it’s fine.”
Soon thereafter, Folk went through a divorce. During that low point, Hassler invited Folk to her church, which fostered a parallel relationship.
“I found Jesus through her, and for me, she emulates Jesus,” Folk says. “She tries to be the light in the world, and she has done that for me. Through such hard times, Missy has always been that person. She just makes things better.”
Hassler offers similar high praise for her friend.
“She is such a great human,” Hassler says. “She works with homeless men and women and tries to get them in addiction counseling. There are days she has to drive around the city trying to locate her people. And I know it stresses her out, not knowing if they’re dead.”
Though their relationship remains the same, the experiences that go along with it have changed greatly over the years as the pair entered different phases of their lives. Nights out on the town have been replaced with gatherings that include Hassler’s husband and children and Folk’s fiancé.
Hassler hopes the evolution of their relationship continues until they’re well past retirement age.
“I just want to be a grumpy old lady, 89 years old, sitting in an old rocking chair on a front porch, drinking ice teas and complaining about how bad my body hurts,” Hassler says. “There’s nobody else I would love to do that with. Sounds perfect to me.”
“Nothing will ever separate us,” Folk adds. “We are sisters for life.”
