photo by John A. Secoges, Secoges Photographics
Q: How long have you lived in Berks County?
I moved here in 2001, after graduating from Kutztown University. I played football in college and really liked the area. I stayed in the region to work as a mental health therapist in Berks County and the Lehigh Valley.
Q: What kind of work do you do as a therapist?
I work with individuals and groups, doing family and marital counseling in mainly outpatient settings. I’ve been doing it for 15 years now; while it is wonderful and beneficial, it is problem-focused, so once a patient overcomes his or her issue, I don’t typically see them again. They move on in their lives, which is a good thing.
Q: Absolutely. But your social club – Men Evolving Now – that is entirely different, correct?
Yes it is. First off, it is not therapy – that is important to point out. I created it because I wanted to help men – and the women in their lives – to learn to speak differently, to communicate better with one another.
I think many issues that end up getting addressed in a therapy setting could be avoided through better communication from the outset.
Q: It was created to assist men in talking, opening up, to others?
Yes. Women usually have a support circle of friends and people in their lives to talk to – and generally like to talk things out. Men tend to have more limited or superficial conversations with their peers. They usually don’t talk about major life changes like marriage, having children, relationship issues. I went through this myself years ago and it can be very isolating. I created Men Evolving Now to give guys a forum, a place to discuss and learn from each other in a positive way. We focus on healthy and life-enriching topics, like being role models and leaders and, since guys like to hang out and chat, also organizing social events.
Q: So there are two kinds of events members can participate in?
It sounds like fun and very constructive. It is; we learn a lot. I’m the facilitator, but even I am always learning. In the forums we have members of all ages, backgrounds, and ethnicities, and our discussions are enlightening and empowering. We hold private meetings at Café Bold in West Reading so we can eat, have coffee and talk about everything from dating to patience to anger. One of our most interesting conversations was titled ‘What is fun?’ Speaking of that, the outings, which vary in location and are held at different times, are fun; we have a wing night somewhere or go bowling or fishing. We also have educational seminars to learn about financial matters or fitness tips. It’s all about enhancing lives and helping members be healthy and happy.
Q: What makes you happiest?
My family. I find immense joy in having conversations with my wife, just the two of us, and in playing with my kids, who always teach me something. When I do take a moment just for me, I like to read or have a good cigar [laughs]. It makes me slow down for 45 minutes.
