As the saying goes, “Opposites attract.” However, if partners are opposite when it comes to home organization and stuff, the family dynamic can get dicey. In my home, I am the thrower and my husband is the saver. As a result, my husband has taught me a lot about what not to do when it comes to organizing him and his stuff. He has also taught me to respect and understand his attachment to his belongings.
Regardless of who is in charge of home organization, here are a few suggestions I’ve learned from my clients and from my husband when it comes to organizing the men in the household.
- Obtain permission to organize your partner’s stuff if it bothers you. When the offending clutter is in a common area, let him know why it bothers you. When organizing a space that your spouse uses exclusively, talk to him or her about the reasons why the area affects the rest of the family. Either way, work out a solution together.
- Have respect for your partner’s belongings. You may view something as useless or unimportant, but your partner may have a totally different view. Belongings can be very personal and tied to emotions and making assumptions about the value of something shows little respect for the owner.
- If you decide to reorganize a common area in the home, ask for input from all the parties who use the space. For example, since everyone uses the entryway to the home, ask for suggestions on what’s not working and tell them what your frustrations are with the space.
- When the organization makeover is complete, bring everyone together and explain the reasons why things are located where they are, how you can all work together to keep it that way, and what the benefits are if the space is kept organized.
Finally, everyone has their own issues when it comes to clutter, but everyone should be asked for their opinion and given respect for their belongings. My greatest joy has been raising my son to be willing to donate his clutter when he no longer needs it, and as a result, he has grown emotional attachments to people rather than “stuff.”
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, the only way, it does not exist.” — Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher
Vali G. Heist, M.Ed. is a Certified Professional Organizer® and Owner of The Clutter Crew. She is the author of Organize This! Practical Tips, Green Ideas, and Ruminations about your CRAP.
