What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant with multiples?
My husband and I were both very happy. I was 47 years old and pregnant for the first time. We both wanted several children in our marriage so this was a way for us to start right off with two and we were even lucky enough to have both a boy and a girl.
In what ways are your children the same, and how are their personalities different?
Maverick and Melina both love to do things together as a family. They are very competitive, but also caring of each other. They love animals and going for walks around the neighborhood or local trails. They are the same in many ways, but also different. Maverick likes sports and helping around the house. He also likes to go golfing with Daddy on the big golf courses. Melina likes sports, art and any kind of crafts. She also likes to go shopping and have girl time with Mommy.
What challenges does raising multiples pose for you?
Our biggest challenge is spending quality time with our children both together and separately. We love to spend time with Maverick and Melina together, but also like to give them each their special time with Mommy alone and Daddy alone, doing whatever they want to do.
In what way is being a parent to multiples uniquely rewarding?
Seeing two children who have a special bond with each other is amazing. Being a parent of twins, especially a boy and a girl, means we get to experience so many things and enjoy so many different interests, hobbies, sports and activities.
What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant with multiples?
My first reaction was pure shock. We knew very early as I was seeing the doctor as high risk. We were told pretty early on that we couldn't have twins because of a uterine condition I have, so when we found out we were having twins, I was nervous and scared. I remember being on the phone with my mother and crying, thinking way far into the future and asking her how we were going to be able to afford college. Pretty funny since they hadn't even been born yet!
In what ways are your children the same, and how are their personalities different?
Pearl is much more outgoing, right off the bat. She tends to speak for both of them at first. When Lily warms up, you can't hold her back; then they fight to be heard and talk over each other. They are both very sweet and grateful. They try to be polite, but like most 7-year-olds, they forget their manners from time to time. They both can be very wild and spirited girls, which I'm happy about. They both have personality to spare!
What challenges does raising multiples pose for you?
When they were babies, it was never quiet. Even if one was peaceful, the other would inevitably be crying or fussing. The first six months for multiple parents is Zombieland -— no sleep, no rest! Secondly, it was a financial challenge. We lived in New York, where everything is double the cost it is in Pennsylvania, so we struggled with being able to afford putting them in day care. They never took dance or gymnastics when they were young; I simply couldn't afford to send both of them. We hope they're smart enough or good at sports for college scholarships!
In what way is being a parent to multiples uniquely rewarding?
We only just had our third child, so there is a seven year spread, but the twins were our first children. I like to say that we all grew up together. Now I have a frame of reference from raising twins to a single, but back then I didn't. We just did it, my husband and I, together, along with the girls. We all grew up and evolved together as a unit and team. Now the four of us, together, raise our little guy, Leo.
What are you looking forward to as your children grow up?
I am looking forward to how they start to differentiate from each other. We never dressed them alike (double wardrobe!) but right now we have them in the same activities because it's easier to get them around.
What was your reaction when you found out you were having twins?
We (Matthew) and I were at the doctor’s office together. I just knew I was having a girl. I’d had a dream the night before where I was holding a little baby girl. So when the ultrasound technician said, “I have a surprise,” I think I held my breath. She said, “It’s a boy…and, look, there’s another one, too.” We looked at each other and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’ve never been so surprised in my life. Luckily, the doctor’s office staff gave us some time alone in the room to gather our composure before we were escorted in to speak with the OB/GYN. This is where she told us about the high-risk factor and how the babies seemed to be sharing space, something that may cause complications. So the day started off with a girl and ended with two boys and the threat of complications. I cried for a week.
In what ways are your children the same, and how are their personalities different?
Lyle and Dexter are completely different. From the start, Lyle had to fight for everything, from space in my belly to his fragile life. Now, he’s a daredevil. He wants to drive fast cars, monster trucks and [he]turns every piece of paper into an airplane. Lyle is a lover. When he arrives in our bed in the morning, he snuggles up like a little bug in a rug. He loves kisses, but I’m the only GIRL that he is currently accepting them from. Dexter is more ornery and sneaky. Dex will do anything to make you laugh, then turn around and throw a balloon at your head. He makes the silliest faces at us and has a way of shaking his head like a teenage girl when he’s telling us something – like he is schoolin’ us. Dexter is already creating art in three dimensions, which is of little surprise since his father is an artist, but he currently seems to be the most into art of all of our children.
What challenges does raising multiples pose for you?
Um, cost. The cost of having twins is double, obviously. It’s harder to find a crazy person (I mean babysitter) to come to a house with three boys. We have NO alone time (the husband and I). Sometimes we feel like the boys don’t get the individual attention they deserve from us, but we try. Birthdays are a challenge. This year they didn’t want the same party, cake, anything. We didn’t comply with the request, but it will get more difficult to say no every year.
In what way is being a parent to multiples uniquely rewarding?
There are two people in the universe that should be the exact same and we get to watch them grow into completely different people.
What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant with multiples?
When we found out we were having the triplets, I was about six weeks pregnant. We had so many different emotions. The first thing I remember saying was "Oh my word, I need to call my Mom.” I know we were feeling blessed, and super excited, but a little scared. We were definitely up for the challenge and knew God picked us for a reason.
In what ways are your children the same, and how are their personalities different?
We have two identical twins and one fraternal. I think their personalities are very different. I think one of the things they have in common is their assertiveness, and they’re a little apprehensive with strangers. Reese (fraternal) and Rylee (identical) are both more assertive then Raegan. Rylee is more of a comedian and Raegan is more reserved. Reese is pretty much the boss and appears to be more independent. It's fun to watch them play and interact together.
What challenges does raising multiples pose for you?
The challenges we have had with raising multiples has been spending time alone with each of them. It's definitely different than when you have one child. Our girls are on a schedule, which has helped tremendously. We also have learned not to sweat the small stuff. Going away with all of them has definitely been a challenge. We absolutely feel blessed, and the blessings outweigh the struggles. It gets easier as they get older. Sometimes you just feel like you wish you had more of yourself to give each one more individual attention.
In what way is being a parent to multiples uniquely rewarding?
It has been rewarding knowing that God blessed us with three beautiful girls. It's nice that they have each other to play with and learn from. Although they have their different personalities, it’s been very rewarding to see the bond they share and how close they are at this early age.
What are you looking forward to as your children grow up?
We are looking forward to seeing them grow up together and seeing how they each develop into their own person.
by Nikki M. Murry | photos by Tania Colamarino, Ama Photography
